Friday, June 08, 2012

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

I did something of which I regret deeply and feel deep shame. 

And now I am paying the price.

Earlier last month, I applied Weed & Feed to my backyard.

I did this out of sheer desperation, tinged with . . .I hate to say it. . . embarrassment.  The dandelions were overtaking everything.  EVERYTHING.  They were creeping up through the weed block and 5 inches of wood chip mulch surrounding our play yard.  Overpopulating my perennial gardens. 

They even had the nerve to show up, again and again, in my new planter boxes.

Realizing that I could NEVER get rid of them even half-way, and wanting to avoid using Round-Up all together, I bit the bullet, put on a baseball cap and dark sunglasses, and bought two bags of Weed & Feed at Home Despot.

I could justify it or try to lessen the severity of my actions by saying the in the six years we lived here, I never once applied a poisonous chemical onto my grass.

But that doesn't undo what I did.

For six happy years, I have lived in perfect harmony with my yard and all the creatures in it.  (Okay, I've had big issues with Opossums and Squirrels over the years.  But the Opossums and I have made peace.  I still hate the squirrels, but I've learned to plant my corn in areas that they cannot get to.)

I have a colony of cute little bunnies living under my deck.  In six years, they have nary munched a spinach leaf, chard stem or snap pea shoot.

The bunnies would frolic about my yard, happily munching on the natural grasses and clover that used to abound.

Used to.  Until I became an idiot and put a bunch of sh!t on my grass.

Now the clover is no longer abundant, and the sprigs I do have probably taste like chemicals.  So do you know where all those bunnies are munching?

Yep.  My gardens.

A pea pod shoot is nowhere to be found.  My chard has not grown longer than 3 inches.  Carrots?  What carrots?  Those 250 carrot seeds?

Now Bunny Poop.

In fact, as I'm typing right now, a sweet, tiny, super cute baby bunny (I mean, smaller than a kitten bunny) is hopping about my onions and peapods.  I'm pretty sure this bunny now permanently lives a happy, shaded life in my raspberry patch.

Earlier this week, Hatfield spotted this bunny out there, frantically running about, unable to find his escape route in the fence.

So, we took the fence down to help the poor bunny out.  The poor baby bunny that will then grow big and fat, coming back to terrorize my plants.

Kind of like the Godfather Part 2, only with a bunny and not Vito Andolini:   I will not kill the bunny, because someday the bunny will grow up and come back and kill me by eating my vegetables.

Cute bunnies are clearly my Achilles Heel.

The Mister, who grew up with a "Boil the Water, Woman While I Go Get Me My Musket," nearly died when he saw what Hattie and I did.

"Why ruin the fence I put up?" he muttered.  "It's not like the thing is going to starve to death.  It just trapped itself in a PETA garden."


Earlier this week, we found a solution to our troubles, all for free, in the neighbor's garbage pile.

I'm not a big fan, but they work.  Next year, though, I will know better.

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