Monday, April 25, 2011

Damn Coffee

I've long known that after my 2 morning cups of coffee, I experience about a 90-minute "Bulletproof" high where I feel freaking invincible. At this time, nearly everything sounds doable or like a great challenge.

This is my post-coffee Morning Theme Song.

I've brought myself a lot of headache in the past, volunteering for things at school, agreeing to coordinate things for church or the home school group, all under the delusions brought forth by caffeine coursing through my veins.

Now, I'm smart enough to have a "Home school Only" rule during that time. And, I turn the ringer off of my phone to further help me.

I slipped up about 2 weeks ago, when I decided to hit the 9 am workout at the gym, coinciding with the peak of my coffee high.

"Sign up for our Beach Body Bootcamp!" the instructor urged, handing me a brochure with the following description:

Extreme conditioning exercises for results beyond anything you’ve imagined possible. EDGE will chisel your body and your determination.

  • Extreme Conditioning at its finest!
  • Hard-core, functional training bootcamp combining strength and cardio to deliver ultimate results.
  • Heavy ropes, tires, suspension training, kettlebell drills, and incredible fat burning cardio will keep you challenged and your body responding.
  • 40 minute class times challenge you to the max while still fitting into your busy schedule.

  • Convenient 6 week session.
Awesome! My drug-induced stupor thought. I'm feeling totally kick-ass lately! I can do this!

I wrote out the check, and didn't give it a second thought until I received this email:


We look forward to seeing you for the 7p boot camp starting this Monday, April 25th!

Please arrive to class 5-10 minutes early so we can get equipment ready before the start of class. This will allow us to hit it hard at 7pm sharp!

Rest up...we'll see you Monday night!

Did you see how that email starts with "Cadets?!?" And ends with "Rest up?!?" I read that and my knees felt weak and all I could think was FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, WHAT DID I GET MYSELF INTO?!?!

I'm gonna go tonight, but I. Am. Scared. I don't know why, but I think it probably has something to do with the intense and humiliating physical beating I'm about to willingly submit to and pay for at 7 pm this evening.

So I've added another new rule for my Coffee-Induced Insanity each morning:
* Homeschool Only
* Ringer Off
* No Working Out

Slowly, I'm learning. Although this lesson may be my most painful one (literally) yet ;)

Happy Monday!


geralyn said...

OK, first of all the cadet thing scared the hell out of me! Secondly, you get a much worse ass-kicking at home than what this might turn out to be at the gym. Give it a can always decide to stay at home in the closet with a twinkie and a beer!!

Rose Anne said...

It would take alot more than coffee to do that!

Anonymous said...

I've seen this mom kick punching bags and push through incredible amounts of fatigue. I've no doubt you will do this program and look even better than the hot mom I come home to every night.

I guess I better keep the twinkies and beer on hand, just in case.... I'll make sure they don't go to waste!

-Mr. Mom