Monday, April 18, 2011

Artistic Endeavors

Dear Sweet, Adorable Child o' Mine,

Welcomed
--and encouraged--
forms of Artistic Self-Expression
at the 5FC abode:

* crayons
* markers
* watercolors
* oils/chalks
* knitting
* crochet
* corking (spool knitting)
* latch hook
* body piercing (of age)
* poetry
* pantomime
* government sit ins
* creative writing
* perler beads
* tattoing (of age)
* jewelry making
* sandbox art

As you can see, the list is quite extensive, from the conservative to the liberal. Need to express something artistically? Knock yourself out.

HOWEVER,

creative use of bodily fluids is NOT ON THE LIST!

I know, what a killjoy. I'm right up there with those horrible people trying to ban Tom Sawyer or Harry Potter.

I get the fact that you are highly creative and talented with your usage of bodily fluids.

HOWEVER,
this particular sort of creative endeavor
is
NOT ON THE DAMN LIST.

Maybe someday, you will find some free-thinking, funky, liberal College of Creative Arts that will welcome your preferred form of self-expression. Awesome. Heck, I will even help you fill out financial aid forms.

Maybe you and your art will become globally celebrated. Maybe people will weep at your brilliance and pay millions of dollars for your ur*ne art.

Maybe you'll show me and I'll eat my words.

Maybe.

But until then, please take note: this form of self-expression WILL NEVER BE on the damn list.

So, please, please, for the love of all things holy, knock. it. off.




2 comments:

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Hmmm, I think I need more details. Who tried to decorate what?

I'm impressed you have piercings and tattoo's on the list. And perler beads- right up there with glitter imo, the std of the craft world.

J. said...

we do not decorate with pee here either but I do know someone who used to fingerpaint on with something other than paint.... hope he stops sooner rather than later. Mine are good scrubbing.