Sunday, March 20, 2011

Returning to Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

My poor blog has been badly neglected thus far this March. Back-to-back trips, first Orlando and then Madison, tied up the schedule big time.

Then there was the typical, post-vacation suck-the-nothing out of your time things. Two trillion loads of laundry, kids who wanted to be fed homemade food not made by their Dad ;) , a house that needed to be cleaned to avoid being placed on the condemned list. Yadee yadee.

And I wouldn't be an honest blogger without mentioning that Miles nutted up this past week. Big. Time. Like, he was drafted up into the Big Leagues of Nutting Up. Awesome.

The best I can figure is a toxic coctail reaction to the following situations:

* First, my leaving created some big "unsafe," "angry" and "fear" fear. When Miles feels unsafe and fearful, he feels a desperate need to be "Boss" of everything in his life.

Unfortunately, when Miles is angry and feeling unsafe, his need to be "Boss" usually manifests itself into dreadfully unhealthy and unsafe behavior.

* The second factor: The Mister did a great job of being a fun, Disneyland Dad when I was gone. This may sound like an insulting statement, but please believe it is anything BUT that. Typically I'll leave and he becomes cross and militant towards errant children. Seeing their Dad cross and militant creates huge anxiety in Atticus, and Hatfield finds the environment to be highly unpleasant.

So, the Mister was able to really focus on being emotionally available and level for the neuro-typical kids. WHICH IS AWESOME! I am really proud of him, because it is NOT an easy thing to do with a life-sucking child in the house.

However, the only way he could be Disneyland Dad is to include all the kids and ignore any behavior of Miles.

That seems to trigger an interesting reaction in Miles. On one hand, Miles loves the treats and extras. But, the treats and extras lead him to feeling like He's the one in charge. Kind of like an ego thing, maybe? But when he feels in charge, it seems to trigger those subconscious "I'm in charge, so I must be in danger, or else I wouldn't be in charge. So I BETTER be in charge to stop the danger" sort of feelings.

Thus, the situation creates a Double Whammy "I need to be Boss" effect.

Ugh. But whatever. Whachyagonnado?

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do!

I'm gonna get together with my girls. My lovely G.B. Knitting Ninja's.

Having a loving, local and constant support group has made my life so much better. Like To Infinity and Beyond better.

When I was in Orlando, my heart ached realizing how many women out there have No One in their physical, daily lives.

Seeing people connect and now have support is amazing.

But in Orlando, I truly realized--I mean, I always knew-- but being reminded of what my life was like before I met these two women, and now knowing how much better my life is now-- I realized just how invaluable they are to me. How much better my life is.

I am SO GRATEFUL to have this.

This week is Spring Break week for us. No dance, no music, no kindergarten. Knitting, OF COURSE. We shall never take a Spring Break from Knitting.

Although, maybe we should take a Spring Break FOR Knitting.

That would be totally kick-ass.

Either way, I have a lot of plans for catching up. I have a lot of thoughts and posts I want to write. So hang on! More programming is coming your way shortly :)


Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

Great pic! I think a spring break for knitting is an awesome idea!

Last Mom said...

My kiddo is the same way about the control and feeling unsafe. It's an exhausting cycle.