Tuesday, September 28, 2010

WTF?!? Awards

Over the past few days, I've had so many WTF?!? moments that I decided to give out awards.

The only rule is:

A nomination = An award

Please feel free to share your WTF nominations and awards in the Comments section.

Here we go:

WTF?!? Award #1 goes to:

The 5FC Phantom Urin8tor

One of my boys has the fastest draw this side of the Mississippi, because even though the total time of unsupervised moments in our household per day is like hmmmm, maybe 3, someone is still able to find those opportune moments to "pea" somewhere other than the toilet.

WTF?!?! Award #2 goes to:

An Unnamed Employer of a
Unnamed Person in the 5FC Household

This company, in their grand bid to "CHANGE TOMORROW," sent out this "Bird Feeder Kit," along with a make the world a better place t-shirt, to all employees with an inspiring letter directing us to help serve the community by making a crappy wooden bird feeder and then giving it away.

I don't know about you, but I would feel like one mega tool bringing a cheap-a$ wooden birdhouse to a homeless center and telling them that it will change their tomorrow.

WTF?!?! Award #3 goes to:

Katy Perry and her "Singing"

I swear the only thing worse than hearing California Girls every other song on the radio is having to hear "Teenage Dream." It's enough to make me want to drive my minivan over a cliff into the Pacific.

Good thing I live in Wisconsin, huh?

WTF?!? Award #4 goes to:

The Corn Refiners Association recent attempt
to rename HFCS to "Corn Sugar"

Because apparently, a rose by any other name will not make you as fat.

and last, but not least:

WTF?!? Award #5 goes to:

The Mister

Hopefully, this award will finally quash his relentless campaign to inspire Mattel to market a "Flamin' Asian Camping Ken" doll.


Corey said...

Oh my stinking heck. The mister is so cute.. but NOT with the sweater around his neck. It must be burned..

Anonymous said...

I can explain that pic. Mini-me (Atticus) wore a fleece pullover and became too warm to wear the pullover after awhile. Being the kind loving dad I am, the kind that brings ugly birdfeeders to strangers and change their tomorrows by chasing them away when they try to give it back, I placed the child-sized pullover somewhere where it wouldn't get in the way while bicycling.

I guess I understand now why the other dads at this politically conservative campout stopped talking to me.

-Mr. "I'm not gay- not that there's anything wrong with that!"

Sarah said...

It's okay, Mr., when I first came to America, I too did not know not to wear a sweater like that either. . .

Wait, I've always known not to wear a sweater like that. And I've never worn a sweater like that, except for earlier this morning, when the kids and I were goofing around, making fun of you once you had left for work.

Essie the Accidental Mommy said...

WTF #934208593

For the child who woke me up 3 times the other night in order to have an overnight snack of cake, in the bathroom....

WTF# 934208594

For the same child who woke up her father last night to tell him she couldn't sleep. Then, tried to steal more cake but this time thought she could sneak her big head under the child safety gate we are forced to put in our kitchen, but who failed and knocked said gate over onto herself and made a helluva racket.
Then said she was hungry so she decided to get up and get a book. Really. That's how the gate got knocked down. Sigh.

Marta said...

Thanks for the laugh, that was very funny, especially # 5! And we have boycotted Katy Perry at this house. Big yuck!

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Stephanie said...

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! That's a hot look for you Cliff. REAL hot!