Atticus chose Subway.
"Eat fresh," he'll tell you. Which is fine by me when it comes to fast food. And although I'm sure there are still a trillion reasons why not to eat at Subway, I'm pretty sure--no, I'm damn positive, thanks to the Mister--that, unlike Happy Meals, their food does decompose. Especially when left in a minivan with rolled up windows on a hot summer day.
But I digress.
So on Friday evening, the Mister shuffles Atticus into Subway, where Atticus proceeds to order a Turkey Sub.
As in, turkey and a sub bun.
"Would you like cheese with that?" the Subgirl asks my boy. "Pepperjack, American or Provolone? How about American?"
"Uhhhhh," Atticus stammers.
Now, the Subgirl has no idea that Atticus is stammering because he has a psychotic mother who is born and bred Wisconsinite and a cheese Nazi who absolutely REFUSES to keep that Kraft sh*t in her home and who will rail for HOURS on end about how, along with black olives, it is the food of the devil.
If you are going to make a grilled cheese sandwich, for God's sake use Colby. Fresh Colby.
And if you are going to feed your kids cheese, use REAL cheese.
For the purposes of getting on with the story, that will be all I'm saying on Kraft opinion.
"Atticus, do you. . ." the Mister nervously began. Nervous because he was scared that his son would somehow morph into his wife and begin chewing out Subgirl.
AT this point in the conversation, Subgirl holds up her hand to Cliff and says:
"Excuse me, Sir. When I first came to America, I too did not know what American cheese meant. Let me help."
She turns to my son. "Do you know what Kraft Single Slices (she pronounces this Loudly and Slowly) are?"
* * * * * * *
Well, now, just guess how many times in the upcoming month, the Mister will turn to me and ask, "Do you know what Kraft Single Slices are?"
Just guess how many times in the upcoming month, I will turn to my Mr. OTB and say to him, "When I first came to America, I didn't know what that meant either."
Keeping the marriage fresh, thanks to our son and his desire to eat fresh at Subway.