Wednesday, March 03, 2010

March's Mantra: Aim Higher

I think I subscribe to 2 magazines. Maybe 3, because my mom gave me a subscription to a health/fitness magazine for Christmas.

Somehow, though, I always end up with at least a dozen magazines lying around. Which amounts to a lot of clutter when they all build up. I used to save magazines for when I would "need" that recipe, or that article, or that picture with the Benjamin Moore wall color that I really want for my bedroom.

Of course, with dozens of magazines scattered throughout the house, I would certainly forget which magazine had which. I'd hit a "My clutter is drowning me!" phase and recycle them all away, acknowledging the fact that by the time I'd get around to convincing the Mister to repaint our bedroom, I'd be onto a new color scheme anyways.

So lately, whenever I read a magazine and I want to save something, I rip it out. With a big messy tear. Decimating the magazine, and as soon as I'm done with the magazine, I recycle it.

I created some files for recipes, home ideas, clothing ideas (because I am a clothing retard and can't put an outfit together to save my life.) So far, I file about 10% of everything I rip. The other 90% gets "lost" on my desk, until I get into the "Ack! My desk is drowning in clutter!" and I throw everything out.

Here's something, though, which I liked so much, I stuck up on my bulletin board, right above my workspace: "Gretchen's Yearlong Plan."

I really don't know who Gretchen is. I think the woman wrote some book on how to achieve happiness. I remember thinking: what a dumb idea for a book! I guess I still do think it's a dumb idea for a book. Because I don't think happiness is something you can really checklist yourself to.

But that's just me.

However, all that being said, at the bottom of the article, there was a neat little box listing this gal's year long plan: "Each month, Gretchen took on an additional challenge in pursuit of the final goal of happiness."

Truthfully, I feel I have enough challenges in my life where I don't need some huge "pursuit of happiness" plan. My plate is so full right now, there is no way I could handle Gretchen's 258-page find-your-happy plan.

Still, I like the idea of having a Mantra for each month.

A 3-or 4-word mantra is something I can handle.

March's Mantra is: Aim Higher.

I like this. I am feeling burnt out in many, many --, all, really--areas of my life.

I have taken a lot of time to re-evaluate my goals (okay, seriously, I don't even have goals because then I just feel more pressure that I failed when I can't fulfill them. Is that a bad thing?), but rather my priorities. And right now they are: my marriage, my family and my God.

I have had to cut a lot out. Which is usually really, really hard for me to do, because I can't stand feeling guilty for saying "no." This time around, I feel so tired and fried that cutting cords was much easier. And if there was some discomfort, I'm tired enough by the end of each day where I really can't remember it.

It would be swell to be at a point in my life where I can say, I'm going to Aim Higher by re-organzing my basement, or re-decorating my living room, or by co-coaching my kids' soccer team, or by cooking two new reciples/dishes each week. But I'm not at that point. Right now, I'm struggling while just trying to figure out a way to manage the basics.

For me, truly, the place where I need to Aim Higher is My Attitude and My Self-Belief. Because somewhere along the way, I have felt my confidence in my self flounder. I need to regain my sense of "I can do this."

I can tackle these attachment/anger/grieving issues.
I am equipped to find resources to help my son.
I can give my children a great education.
I can have a marriage that strengthens and doesn't fizzle out.
I can learn more and have a deeper understanding of God's word.

So that's where I am right now, at this time, "March"ing (ha!) forward with a simple but solid mantra: Aim Higher.


Sawatzky family said...

Good for you Sarah! :)
I will add your mantra to my prayer journal for friends this month. I love that you are on a path to get your self belief back! Dive into God's word and hear who He says you are, and hold on tight to it! That is something eveyone should do on a regular basis!
Thank you for being so honest and bold in this post! God is good and He shines here :)

bbbunch said...

Amen sister! Love you!

Me said...

You're right, you can do this. Aim higher is a great mantra and you're a great mama.