Saturday, February 13, 2010

How I went Chuck Norris on Dyson and Finally Got My Vacuum Back

Dyson has been holding my vacuum hostage.

A few months back, the Mister bought US (read: MOI) a vacuum. I say US to humor him, because he's the one who busted his ass to earn the insane amount of money to buy the vacuum.

"Insane" indeed, but then again, having 5 children, 3 dogs, 2 cats and a dusty furnace is a whole level of "insane" on it's own.

Plus, as y'all know, the Mister is NOT allowed to operate, transport, or breathe upon the vacuum. And for good reason, the man is a Vacuum Decimator.

So a few months back I was in clean carpet heaven with my Dyson. It totally sucks, but in the good way that you want a vacuum too.

I should have known it was too good to be true, as the vacuum soon broke, and I learned just how DREADFUL Dyson customer service is.

To make a long story short:

* The first Dyson rep told me to bring my vacuum into a service shop 35 miles away from my house. I was not thrilled, but if they were going to fix my vacuum quickly, and for FREE, then so be it.

* We drive the said 35 miles to the said shop, only to be told we need a Work Order Number to fix it. Get out the handy dandy cell phone and call Dyson. Only to be told that THE SERVICE CENTER IS NOT AUTHORIZED TO FIX MY LEVEL OF MACHINERY. We would need to take our machine to a UPS store and have it shipped to Dyson.

* We drive back home and 70 miles later, my Dyson is on it's merry way to Skokie, Illinois, vacuum repair capital of the United States (I don't know if that's true. I made it up for Narrative Enhancement.)

* I am promised my Dyson's return within 10 days. 12, 15, 20 days go by.

* I call on Days 15, 18, 20, 24. Talk to a variety of Clueless Customer Serivce Reps. ALL claim that they will email the Service Department for me, and instruct me to call back 48 hours later. Because get this: Customer Service and the Repair Center do not communicate via telephone, and the Repair Center computer database tracking repairs and the Customer Service database are NOT linked.

* Each time I call back, the rep tells me that there is never any record of an email being sent out on my behalf.

* I E-mail the Dyson customer service address FOUR times. No response.

* Continue to call Dyson. Usual wait to get a rep: 24 minutes. Usual response: We're looking into it.

* As I ask reps to speak to a supervisor, I learn that Supervisors Don't Work at Dyson. Only Clueless Reps.

* Wednesday marked a full calendar month of Dyson holding my vacuum hostage. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and channel my inner Chuck Norris. Ooooo, I'm scary, I know.

I love Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris can TOTALLY improve your marriage. I swear, he can. I promise to blog about that secret next.

Google is an AWESOME tool. When you are working with a company that gives out NO information about themselves and offers no other contacts other than the most poorly staffed customer service number, turn to Google.

I typed in Dyson, their street address, "Tax" and "president" and voila! I soon had the email of a the Vice President of Finance and Operations.

* I emailed the fine lady and detailed my experience with their Sucky Customer Service (the bad sucky this time--not the good sucky).

* Within 2 hours of my email, I had received a response back for each of my FOUR emails I sent out weeks earlier. I called Customer Service and my call was answered on the first try (weird!) Not only was my vacuum fixed, but it was overnighted out.

* Received a call from a lovely woman who was the Call Center Supervisor. She profusely apologized and is sending me several accessories in the mail. She also gave me her direct phone line, which is now programed into my celly.

SO, if you are out there and getting the complete run-around from Dyson, let me know. I have their direct line know, and I'm not afraid to use it ;)


Sawatzky family said...

Way to go Sarah!!!!
Never underestimate the wrath of mother without her vacuum! Hahaaa
Love it! ;b

Corey said...

Wow. I *LOVE* you. I would not like someone messing with my Dyson (mine is Pink, and beside my Bissell Steam Cleaner, my best friend).

I am going to keep you on speed dial, my friend.

(I am also going to stay on your good side. ;-) )


bbbunch said...

This is why I love you! (By the way...does this work on husbands and unfinished projects???)



Debbie said...

WOW Sarah! I had no idea you were having such problems with Dyson. I always had just excellent service. But I am glad to know that if I ever run into a hard time, I know who to call.

Love ya!