Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Growing Pains


Adding a new member into your family, whether 2 days old or 4 years old, and evidence of growing pains will creep up here and there. The pains might be like mine: I had been doing pretty well with the growing pains of turning into a Mother of 4, only feeling stretched here and there, until it all culminated yesterday, but I'll share that in another post. Or the pains might be like Paloma, which is one long, continuous growing pain that has not yet ebbed.

The past two weeks have been very trying with and for Paloma. While Miles is very nice to her, and they actually play quite well together, it is still a huge adjustment for Miss Po, who was quite content with her I'm-the-Diva-pre-Miles lifestyle. Lots of whining, crying, tantruming and insane requests have left both her and I exhausted.

This morning, just now, she whined/complained/cried to me that she has an eyeball in her eye!

Oh my.

The utter ridiculousness of her statement made my heart feel a sting of pain as I felt tears well in my own eyes. I wish I could explain to her that this growing pain will pass, and she'll soon find her place and happiness in our big crazy family, but how do you explain that to a 3 year old?

My dear friend Becky's mother was a very, very wise woman and mother of 8. She once told Becky that when your children are being very trying and you don't know what to do, do the exact opposite of what you feel. Admittedly, today I kind of feel like setting out cereal, milk, bread and peanut butter on the table and crawling back under the covers.

So, instead, today I'm just going to hold her and love on her and stay glued to her side, now matter what whines, demands or requests are thrown my way. Things will get better and easier. This too shall pass, baby girl. I promise.

9 comments:

Me said...

Oh can I relate to this. Sqweetie has had awful growing pains. And like Miles, Samuel and Gracie are really sweet to Sqweetie but it just didn't matter. I am happy to report Sqweetie seems to be settling in now and accepting the fact that the other 2 are here to stay.

Poor Paloma. Sometimes it's tough being 3. Good thing she has a mama like you.

small town girl said...

Not sure if it will make her/you/me/all of the above any happier, but both of my girls exhibit this behavior periodically and, as you know they are 6 and 9. I recognized the look on her face immediately! You are doing a great job, keep up the good work, very inspiring!

Salzwedel Family said...

Poor Paloma! Yes, it's hard to rationalize with a 3 year old. How dare you give her an "eyeball in her eye". :o)

bbbunch said...

;) I think 3 is the hardest year I've experienced as a mom...

Love you!

Becky

Jenn said...

Sam had the hardest of times as well. I can remember one day a few weeks into Wil being home he just started sobbing. It wasn't the whiney, obnoxious cry I had been hearing for the last few weeks. It was the saddest "my world has changed and I am too little too explain how I feel cries". I sat with him on the couch just holding him, tears running down my face as well.

I don't think we are able to fully ubderstand the mourning period our littlest go through when another sibling is added.

Hugs to Miss Paloma, it does get better.

Katy said...

Hang in there....this too will pass. My 5 year old nephew, who is very attached to me and the king of meltdowns is already jealous of Gracie and she isn't even here....but he also makes it clear that he loves her and wants her home. You are doing great! Praying for Paloma's heart...

Sawatzky family said...

Oh Paloma.....I have no words of advice but we will be praying especially for her in the next while fpr her adjustment.
WE love her!
Shelly

Melanie said...

Poor Po! Let us know if she needs a playdate, maybe we can find something special for just Lydie and Po to do.

Anonymous said...

I think its worth remembering that you do give Paloma some special attention, such as sleeping with us at night, and that she has also received a lot of unique coddling- in other words, it is very easy to feel down because Po is acting up. It is not always easy to recall, in those moments, that you (and I, maybe too much at times) are giving her plenty of reassurance. Each of the kids is adjusting, has their moments, and (luckily) have a wonderful mom that is giving them love and attention in a personalized and individual way.

You are a great mother and the kids are proof of that.

Now, as for that husband of yours...

-Mr. 1 4 3