This morning the Mister and I ran around the entire lake where we camp. Normally I don't run with my Mister because his normal pace eclipses mine by several miles per hour. Not that he's a bully who forces me to keep up (he's not), but because I'm quite physically self-conscious and am not yet comfortable running with others yet (even my husband, as silly as that is.) I feel slow and cloppy and anything but graceful. Which is how I feel normally with most everyday activities, but that feeling is significantly magnified when I run.
Yet this morning, Jimmy was willing to child and puppy sit, the sun was shining, and the Mister was trying to build up strength for pose running, which slows him down to my speed anyway. So I was wiling to put aside my feelings of awkwardness, and we set off around the lake.
Our run was just 4 miles, but there are some hills which are a bear and make it more challenging. Not having any alone time for several days, we had ample things to chit chat about and soon found ourselves falling into a comfortable pace. The miles slipped behind us, and before I knew it, we were rounding the bend towards camp.
I commented to the Mister that I wish all my runs were so easy. Lately, I've been petering out a bit during the run and often have to revamp my mindset.
When things get hard, I remind myself that unless I run mile 4 right now, I'm not going to be able to run miles 6.2 next month at the Bellin Run. If I don't run mile 4 right now, I'm not going to be able to run the half marathon I'm training for in September. A short cut in this situation will only make tomorrow all the more difficult.
As I was explaining all of this to the Mister, it occured to me that I have several balls that I'm juggling where I feel that same petering out feeling. I flit from thing to thing, and can never fully commit to a course of action.
When I flit about, the only thing that grows is my list of what I'm not completing.
I'm tired of flitting.
Part of the problem is that I take on too much. I allow too many distractions from my purpose at this point in my life. So shame on me.
As I get older though, I am not finding that it gets any easier to find fewer distractions. More exist, if anything. But I do find that I am getting better at figuring out what to cut out of my life.
Yet when I set my scissors down and finish sweeping up the remnants, I still find that I'm flitting about these few unfinished pieces of business.
It would probably do me some good to take a similar approach to these things as I do the running. If I want to take something to the finishing line, I better keep advancing myself. Kind of like the adoption. The adoption is a marathon, and right now, we've hit a wall at Mile 25. We know that we're going to get past it, but we remind ourselves that if we want to get to Mile 25.5 and Miles 26 and the Finish Line, well, we best keep on putting one foot in front of another at Mile 25. We know these things about the adoption; they seem implicit.
Yet why do I make it so hard for myself with some other things?
Heck if I know. I guess that's something to figure out on my next run with the Mister.