Thursday, February 12, 2009

In a Holding Pattern

Well, after a tense and tearful past 24 hours, it now looks like we are going to be in a "No News" holding pattern until sometime next week, at the earliest.

Any circumstance where an adoption time line drags out even further is unfortunate, but in our particular situation, I'm at peace with it. I won't go into details except to say that the case is serious enough where I certainly don't want anyone going in to assist us unless every 't' is crossed and every 'i' is dotted.

If time is needed to properly prepare a response to the USCIS, then that is time I will gladly allot. I worked far too long as a paralegal to know that half-assed responses or incomplete documents will get you nowhere, fast.

And 'nowhere' in adoption is not a place we want to be.

So, I can at least take a breath now. I've had a chance to think about the situation. While we have no idea what USCIS will do, we have a range of scenarios that I can prepare for.

I'm trying to stay positive. To focus on what is in front of us. To remember that I must let God do His job, and that I must do My job.

In a quiet moment yetserday, I remembered a prayer that was posted on our agency's Yahoo group. It was posted a year ago on Valentine's Day (which, coincidentally, was the first anniversary of our commitment to Keenan and Miles).

The prayer made a huge impact then. Obviously, if I could remember much of it verbatim a full year later.

This time, when I went back to it, made even a huger impact. I will repost it here in a moment, but suddenly, I was overcome with gratitude at these thoughts:

God CHOSE our family (and all the adopting families)
because he feels we ARE WORTHY to adopt His children.
He KNOWS we are CAPABLE and STRONG enough to WITHSTAND such battles.
He is allowing us to GROW in our FAITH and INTERNAL SPIRIT
in a manner that is HUGE and AMAZING.
What an incredible gift, on all accounts!

I've always been one to look at the battles other people are going through in their lives, and fully believe that God hears their prayers and could perform miracles for them. Yet, in my own life, I've always felt that I was somehow unworthy of God's love and blessings.

Remembering this prayer was certainly a lightbulb moment for me. God LOVES me---and all of brave, adopting folks--enough to want to work these big things in us. He knows I can handle what is being thrown at me. And I don't want to disappoint Him! If He knows I can handle it, then I can persevere through whatever Satan throws our way. If God loves me enough to entrust me with the most precious of His lambs, then I certainly know that it is in me. I can do this through Him. With His help. With His love.

Well, enough of my babbling. Here is the wonderful prayer I have been writing about:

"Maybe, just maybe, the angle from which we have viewed this trial happens to be the angle of the enemy instead of God's perspective. Maybe God is taking us deeper, deeper into trust and abandonment to Him. Maybe satan wants to discourage you and your families because
he sees an army of saints coming into his domain. Maybe he wants to discourage you before the war has even begun. Instead of questioning God's calling to work in and to adopt from Haiti, maybe we should praise God that He has found us worthy to endure and combat a spiritual warfare in this land enchained by darkness. Perhaps it is a blessing, God has seen that you and these families are fit for the battle. Satan knows this and is waging a violent assault to discourage us from continuing this battle.

Today, lets change our prayer. Father, we thank you for all that you are doing through the people, situations, and circumstances that are beyond our control. Father we thank you that Satan's mountains are only made of smoke. And today, Lord, we cry out to you to move
the heavenly forces on our behalf and release these children from the clutch and grasp of the enemy so that they may come home. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, we bind the demonic forces of darkness, confusion, chaos, inefficiency, pride, and laziness that
has brought the Haitian adoption process to a halt. Where there is darkness, we call upon Your light oh God. Where there is confusion, we pray for Your Divine Spirit of clarity, wisdom, and knowledge.

Father break these chains of darkness Lord. We don't have the power in and of ourselves but You have said that when Your people call upon Your name You will hear them and answer their prayers. In place of the chaos in this Haitian adoption system we call for Your
peace and organization. Where there is inefficiency we pray for Your spirit of efficiency. Where there is pride and arrogance among the officials we pray for You to soften their hearts and Your
humility to fall upon them. Where there is laziness to pray for your strength in Jesus name.

Father, most of all we want to thank you. Thank you that You have seen our families as fit to conquer these demonic forces through surrender, prayer and trust in You. Thank you that this is where You have placed us today for Your purpose and plan that is far greater than anything we could imagine. Father I thank you that You see beyond our desire for a trouble-free life, You see the internal construction of our spirit taking place. We surrender to Your plans
and Your timing.

Thank you Father."

I couldn't say how many times I've read this over today. I find that I'm drawing an incredible amount of strength and peace from those words. Maybe some of my adopting friends out there will as well.

Thank you so much for all our your prayers yesterday. We are so grateful to every one of you who take the time to put in a word for our little guys.

Many blessings to you all,
Sarah

4 comments:

Rumo Mom said...

Amazing! Well written and a true comfort for our family just beginning the journey! We serve an amazing God who is capable than so much more than even we can imagine! In prayer with you and for you! Julie

small town girl said...

Sarah:

Thank you so much for posting that prayer, all I can say is WOW! You related so well how this experience spiritually changes and molds us.

I know you are tired but I admire your faith and your friends are here to boost you where we can. And I will continue praying for you and yours. I hope others will too. Prayer and the Word, I am told, are the tools of the Warrior, and this truley is an epic battle we are engaged in. in.

Kim said...

This is great. Can I have your permission to post it on my blog? I can't even begin to explain how much I have changed and grown since beginning this adoption. I have to say, I don't think Satan likes it one bit!

Amy said...

Wow, thanks for posting that prayer.
Amy in TN-been waiting for 3 1/2 years.