Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Crabby

So apparently our files are not where we have thought they were.

We're not just waiting on the Visa appointment, but a whole lot of other crap instead.

In reality, we're still where we were taken on Dec. 26th, at USCIS awaiting I-600 approval. Which probably no one understands except those few unfortunate souls who have come to have an intimate understanding of the way the Port au Prince USCIS and Consulate works (or in reality, doesn't work.)

What does this mean?

This means that I am truly, unbelievably
C-R-A-B-B-Y.


This means that every celebratory "We're just waiting on the Visa appointment" moment I shared with friends and family was very premature.

This means that I am at the mercy of a governmental agency---a U.S. agency, mind you--which doesn't really care about or for the children, which could really do without adoption, which would rather the entire thing just be forgotten. Which is allowed to operate without any context of timeframes or rules.

And I'm really scared that I may scream at the next well-intended, caring soul who tells me to get my Senator involved. It just doesn't work that way. The U.S. Consulate is its own little dictatorship which couldn't care less what anyone on the Mainland may threaten or try to pull. The few folks I know who had made the mistake of getting their local reps involved had their files sat on for months, or worse, had some obscure document requested that has taken eons to get from the Haitian Archives.

For today, I don't care about waiting with dignity and grace. For today, I am having a bloody, screaming tantrum.

We got out of MOI over SIX FREAKING MONTHS AGO. With the unfortunate case of two families that are fighting an entirely different fight to get their kids home, we are the ONLY family left. Families that have started after us are right along with us. Families that started after us have gotten their kids home.

I'm not crabby that others are getting their kids home. Every time one of these children goes home, it is a victory for every single family adopting from Haiti.

I am crabby because I am SO TIRED of going through a process in a country where no one really cares to realize that it has been SIX FREAKING MONTHS. I am crabby that no one who works in this process other than our dear, sweet adoption agency program manager is saying, Enough is enough!

I am crabby that we are the file that gets screwed up and then set aside.

I am crabby that the one piece of news I felt truly elated over and optimistic about (the Visa appointment) was taken away from me.

I am crabby that the fate of our files is still up in the air. That the approval has not been issued, which therefore means that there is still a chance we could receive a denial. Which means that there is no security. None.

I am CRABBY.

12 comments:

Crystal said...

This sucks can I just say that! I am so sorry this is taking so long it is bull*%&*. I am right there with you on the six month thing enough is enough. Hang in there!

This Mama said...

Oh my lord I am so sorry!! I do not even know what to say.

A Blessed Life said...

Absolutlely unbelievable!!! I'm really sorry you guys are having such amazing difficulties.

The Dohrenwends... said...

I too, dont know what to say Sarah...other than it does TOTALLY SUCKS..and its not fair. Im so sorry. I will surely be praying for you and the boys.

Leslie said...

I am so sorry. You deserve to be crabby and throw a huge tantrum. Having just gone through the experience of waiting for that embassy/USCIS to do their jobs, I understand how infuriating and powerless (and scary) it feels... And it is so much worse when it is our own govt (not) doing this. I am so sorry and am praying this is over soon.

Sawatzky Kids said...

Sarah...
I have no idea what you are feeling or any experience from the past to draw from to offer some insight or encouragment. But I do know that you are truly one of my dearest friends. And we are on our knees for you saying enough is enough right along with you! And really you know me...I say let it all out girl. Have your tantrum! Get right pissed off and just let it all out and then let it all go. And in case it helps, I just threw out a few curse words on your behalf ;) (and they were doosies!) The kids are napping so no ears were damaged! lol
I love you lady!
Hang in there all things have a finish line at some point...yours is coming!

Jenn said...

Crabby? That's it? I would be certifiable by this point!!

small town girl said...

I am so so sorry you are having to experience this. It's just beyond comprehension and I don't understand it. You and your family are in my prayers and I pray that you find some movement and some real resolution soon.

Aves @ Call of the Phoebe said...

I am so sorry, really so sorry. I would be having a full blown tantrum instead of a little crabby. I am at a loss as to what in going on...I just don't get it.

Aves

Tracy said...

Crabby, would certainly be an understatement if that were me! I just can't believe that these situations continue to occur. I just DONT GET IT...The sad part is, this process is sooooo painful, I would find it hard to ever adopt from Haiti again...and the only ones who lose out are again the precious children. THIS SUCKSSSSSSSSS!!!!

dreamingBIGdreams said...

adoption is hard. we are adopting from haiti too. i have had my crabby days too, so i can relate. thanks for sharing your heart.

Katy said...

I agree, it SUCKS big time....and still I continue to pray for you. God DOES know you are throwing a tantrum, and I think even HE is okay with it. Crying and screaming with you...