Friday, January 09, 2009

Call Guinness--It's Official

What mammal has the longest gestation period?

Hint: It's not an elephant.

Answer: A human woman in a Haitian adoption-pregnancy.

It just occurred to me that we finished our adoption Dossier and sent it off via Fed Ex over 20 months ago.
Which now means that I have been adoption pregnant longer than an elephant, the mammal who previously had the world record.

Hey--if I'm going to liken myself to an elephant, then I'm going to use an adorable photo of an elephant. And seriously, have you ever seen anything cuter than this?

To console myself and limit my chances of developing some elephant-esque thunder thighs, I treated myself to a big container of these:

Blackberries. Super healthy. Super yummy.

When I was purchasing these at market last night, two women were next to me, looking over the berries. "They're just too expensive," one woman said, her nose crinkled up like it was a big box of dog poo or something.

And it struck me just how off-the-mark her comment was.

Most Americans think nothing of spending $5 on a bag or two of chips. Or $4.99 on a Super Size Mickey D's meal (which really is nothing more than a car-trunk full of processed corn by-product mixed with a chemical cocktail to give it color, flavor and odor).

But to spend $4 on a fruit? Horrors!

The Mister and I could sit down with a movie and mindlessly devour a $4 bag of gourmet, crunchy sea salt and vinegar chips. Really. We've done it before. Or we could sit down with a bowl of berries for the same amount, which will nourish our bodies, blood, and skin.

Now, granted, we will not have the "stuffed" feeling from eating the berries. But you know what? It's okay not to eat until you feel "stuffed."

But we also won't have the next morning indigestion and "what possessed me to eat an entire bag of chips (and the accompanying 1400 calories)?"

Anyway, that is just my rambling morning monologue expounding the unnecessary evils of processed food.

And given the fact that I am over 20 months pregnant with pseudo-twins (did you know that there is such a thing? And that there are websites and yahoo groups about this?), you'll just have to humor me.

Hormones, after all.

I think I should make myself business cards. I could hand them out any time I potentially insult someone. They would read:

Please forgive me.
I am over 20 months pregnant with pseudo-twins.
That's longer than an elephant pregnancy,
for Heaven's Sake!
As such, I take no responsibility for my thoughts, actions or words.
Hormones, you know.

6 comments:

Amanda said...

This gave me a chuckle. :~) My fav. fruit right now is apples. Not just any apples. Honey Crisp apples. At 2.37/lb. But they are SOOOO good :~)

This Mama said...

"Eat to live, don't live to eat".
Love that quote and wish that it were a little easier to follow. I was wanting to post something like this after I had a remark from a cashier "Do they really taste that much better?" (organic bananas vs regular). We spend a LOT on organic fruit - and I really don't care. Now it is just convincing Rob to stop bringing in the chips/coke/chocolate/cookies/candies because I cannot live by the quote up above when I have anything like that within a 30ft radius.

small town girl said...

You are in my brain. Here's how I look at it;
I'm 18 months pregnant with twins---nine months for each one---and I'm fixing to be overdue. And they weigh 40 lbs and 50 lbs, respectively. Watch out!

bbbunch said...

You crack me up!

blessedfamily said...

LOL! Funny stuff!

Amy said...

Hey, I'm 40 months paper pregnant since beginning the paper chase. I carried and gave birth to two babies in less time than it's taken to adopt one and they are two and a half years apart in age. Sigh...at least I'm here with him for now. Hope it ends for all of us soon and we have our kids home with us.
Amy