Friday, October 10, 2008

Not the news we wanted to hear

The good news: Our birth parent interviews are complete.

The bad news: They requested DNA on one of our boys.

DNA is easily an 8-week process, and it's very expensive (like $500+ expensive). Then, it's safe to say that it will be a month or so to process the actual visas.

Technically, we could bring one of our sons home, and leave the other behind. I refuse to do that. These little guys have lived at the orphanage for 2.5 years now, and are all each other have. I will not do that to them.

The bottom line: Our boys will not be home this year.

I feel like I've been punched in the stomach. I just cannot understand this.

I am so mad. And angry. And sad.

Devastated would be the closest word to describe it.

My heart feels shattered. Do you know how many versions of our family Christmas letter I had composed in my mind, all announcing our two new additions? How many visions of a Christmas tree with presents for 5 little ones? Or how my heart breaks when I see just how much my little guy so badly want his brothers home?

I just wish I could understand why this has to be so difficult.

All I want is for my babies to be home.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sarah, I am so so sorry that this is happening to your boys. I will keep praying for you.
Kelli

Jen said...

Oh Sarah, I am so sorry. I have been thinking all day about you and Laura, and Amy and was hoping for some good news...

ManyBlessings said...

I am sitting here crying for you. This is devastating, but even though this night is black, God is still with you my precious friend.

We went through something very similar three years ago in October. It was the month we lost our two who still wait in Guatemala. Please know that if you ever need a shoulder, I am here.

dawnz

Psalm 31:1-10,24
In you, O LORD, I have taken refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
deliver me in your righteousness.

Turn your ear to me,
come quickly to my rescue;
be my rock of refuge,
a strong fortress to save me.

Since you are my rock and my fortress,
for the sake of your name lead and guide me.

Free me from the trap that is set for me,
for you are my refuge.

Into your hands I commit my spirit;
redeem me, O LORD, the God of truth.

I hate those who cling to worthless idols;
I trust in the LORD.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love,
for you saw my affliction
and knew the anguish of my soul.

You have not handed me over to the enemy
but have set my feet in a spacious place.

Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.

My life is consumed by anguish
and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak...

...Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.

Sawatzky Kids said...

oh Sarah...
I am so sorry to hear this news. I don't even know what to say...which is a first I am sure!
We are, as always praying God's hand of peace over you and the boys.
Shelly

Me said...

Oh no! This is beyond frustrating. I am so sorry Sarah. I don't even know what to say.

Katy said...

So, so sorry....how heartbreaking. Praying for His overwhelming peace for your family.

Tracy said...

I don't have the words....I can't even imagine how difficult that news must have been to hear today. The Haitian adoption process never ceases to amaze me. Just keep praying for a miracle...that's all we can do.

This Mama said...

Oh Sarah!! I am so sorry to hear this news...I feel sick to my gut...

stephanie garcia said...

Echoing so many others ... I am SO sorry ...

Salzwedel Family said...

I'm so sorry. Praying here...

ksb said...

Sarah and family.....all I can think of is how bad this stinks. They will come home though...do not give up. They are worth the battle. Kim

Chapter Two Manmi said...

I am so sorry. I got the wind knocked out of me a few times during our 3-year wait and I had to pour out my sorrow often. There are no words but know I'm praying.