Thursday, September 18, 2008

Wanna hear a secret?

I'll tell you, but ONLY if you Super-Duper, Pinky-Swear that you will not let the cat out of the bag. I would become an Instant Super Star, the Darling of Morning Talk Shows, a Highly Sought-After Author. . . and all of that would throw my homeschooling schedule to pot.

Deep breath. . .here goes:

I have SEE-THE-INVISIBLE Super Vision.

There, I said it.

I can even prove it, because apparently as long as I am the one taking the photos, my Super Vision transfers to my little old HP camera as well. Take a peek:

I can see INVISIBLE SHOES that no one else can see, particularly the owners. I watch my family trip over what they think are invisible blocks of air, each time they come into the house. I laugh inside my head at their mere humanity, as I know they are not invisible blocks of air, just INVISIBLE SHOES.

I know they say black cats are spooky, but apparently I am the Spooky One as I can see our INVISIBLE EMPTY CAT FOOD BOWLS and our INVISIBLE CAT SO HUNGRY SHE'S TRYING TO EAT THE COUNTER.

My Super Vision can spy the INVISIBLE COLLECTION OF RANDOM ARTIFACTS that accumulates, invisibly, on the banister, day after day. Surely it must be INVISIBLE, as no rightful owner ever carries their random artifacts UPSTAIRS.

See the Tabasco Tie? The Mister wears it when he's having a I'M-HOT-STUFF day. His last I'M-HOT-STUFF day was THIRTEEN DAYS AGO, on Friday, September 5th (I moved it up to the forefront of the INVISIBLE COLLECTION OF RANDOM ARTIFACTS for photographic purposes). Certainly, the tie must have taken on INVISIBLE PROPERTIES to be hanging out on the banister for THIRTEEN days! I'm amazing, I tell you!

But my Super Vision Feats do not stop there, on no! Look!

I see the INVISIBLE EMPTY TOILET PAPER DISPENSER, whereas others only see the full toilet paper roll SET ON THE COUNTER, a place within their BAVZ (Below-Average Vision Zone.)

And last but not least, this sad INVISIBLE site:

A little mini-vac with a big ol' mess of cord, just resting at the top of the staircase. Apparently the little mini-vac went INVISIBLE the moment Atticus finished vacuuming the steps, as he could not find it to put it away in the hall closet! And apparently it remains INVISIBLE, as EVERYONE has been STEPPING on it EVERYDAY since MONDAY, when it's the child's Vacuum the Stairs Morning Chore Day.

Please, do not inundate me with comments asking me how you too can obtain Super Vision. I simply cannot share my secret. Please feel free to leave comments marveling about, fawning over or simply worshiping my God-given skill.


Anonymous said...

Its a good thing I got my eye prescription updated. Perhaps I can get this magical super vision as well with special glasses....

Instead of seeing dead people, your sixth sense lets you see invisible things. That's kind of cool! "I see invisible things!"

-The Mister

Salzwedel Family said...

As I read this post, it just occurred to me that I have super vision too! I am so excited about this discovery. I hope I can use it for good instead of evil.

At this very moment I see invisible shoes & an invisible sprawled out vaccuum & cord.

I wonder if this phenomenon is contagious? We also live in Wisconsin so maybe it's airborne. Yikes...alert the authorities!

ManyBlessings said...


Jen said...

YIKES...super vision just crossed the US/Canadian border....I am currently super-seeing yesterdays uneated school lunch in the mudroom, clothes laying BESIDE the hamper.....and what's this??? MY GOD!!! an oozing shampoo bottle on the floor of the kids shower!!

Sawatzky Kids said...

Oh Sarah thanks for the laugh!!!!