Monday, March 24, 2008

Another holiday down. . .

Easter has always been my favorite holiday, both religiously and, dare I say it, commercially. I love the soft colors, the cute bunnies, sweet Easter dresses complete with white shoes and bonnets. Pastel-dyed eggs, chocolate rabbits, Cadbury eggs--yum! Someday I'm determined to have Easter in a southern state where we can actually enjoy an outdoor egg hunt (we do them up here, in snowpants and mittens).

I found this Easter especially joyous, as my oldest daughter still believes in Mr. Easter Bunny. To see her anxious excitement on Saturday night was wonderful. She came into our room on Sunday morning at 5 a.m., telling us that she must have been awake for 4 hours during the night, as she couldn't sleep for she was too excited to find her basket. She woke up her brother and sister, and her joy was contagious. Her eyes lit up as she saw the baskets, and she encouraged her brother and sister through the egg hunt, sharing her bounty of eggs with them both.

In those quiet moments scattered, however sparsely, throughout the day, I found myself thinking, "Next Easter the boys will be here." I was thinking about two more baskets, two more bottles of bubbles, two more jump ropes or hula hoops or whatever outdoor trinket Mr. Bunny will leave next year.

Hard for me to believe that Easter 2008 is already over. New Years seemed like yesterday, and yesterday I was thinking, "The boys will be here sometime after Easter."

Well, that sometime started today. I can't help but think, "will they be here by Mother's Day? Memorial Day? Father's Day? For any of our summer birthdays? Surely by Fourth of July . . .well, surely by Labor Day. . ."

Sadly, I have seen many parents heartbroken in the past year, thinking their children would be home by the next holiday, and then the next, and then the next. I watched their distress sink in as yet another holiday passes with empty beds in their homes, knowing full well that it could be me experiencing the same feelings when my time comes. So excited we adopting parents are for our kids, that it's nearly impossible to truly grasp that unforeseen complications can pop up at any time. I want so badly to make sure that I don't make myself miserable, always being so disappointed that they are not here for this one holiday, or that one. Yet I know that you just can't avoid that disappointed feeling. Funny how the mind doesn't have a very direct line of communication to the heart.

So in these days of "sometime after Easter," I have taken the Mister's advice and began my running training this morning, at 5:45 am at our local Y. I entered the "From Couch to 5K" (http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml) training program into an Excel spreadsheet, and gleefully crossed off Day 1 when I returned home later that morning. It's a 9-week program, which carries me perfectly to the Green Bay Cellcom Marathon 5k Run. The Mister can do the half-marathon; I'll cheer him on at the finish line, provided my legs can still hold me up, hardee har har. A month later we can run the 10K Bellin Run together.

1 comment:

small town girl said...

Good luck with your training! The wait is incredibly hard. It is so hard to watch them growing up and away from us. For me it's the next birthday, Which coincides with Christmas. I pray that by some miracle they will be home by then, and I pray that if that is not the case I will have the strength to deal. I hope it will be very very soon for you and your family.