Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Say What?

A Mars/Venus Marital Moment:

Setting: Early morning, telephone conversation

HIM: You seem stressed, anything bothering you?

Crabby PMS-ing HER: Yes. I need begin our school day, but there are so many things that are not picked up I can't even find a peaceful space to do it.

HIM: Oh.

HER: I really need people to start stepping up around here on a regular basis.

HIM: I'm trying. Did you see that I took the garbage and recycling out last night without being reminded?

HER: (Trying valiently to bite that smartass reply between her teeth) Yes. MMMMMM....grrrrr....thank you.

HIM: If you just let me know what to do, I will do it.

HER: I just want things put back where they belong. If you find yourself stepping over a tie on the kitchen floor that fell off the counter because it never made it upstairs to the closet, pick it up and put it in the closet! If you find yourself stepping over Hot Wheels, call Atticus in to pick them up.

HIM: Yes dear.

HER: (Terribly annoyed that her husband is being so darn appeasing. Why does she always have to be the cranky one?) Thanks.

End Conversation

Setting: Later that evening, after the children are in bed and HER has spent 25 minutes picking up toys, ice cream dishes and books in the family room, while HIM sits on the couch scratching HIMself ala Ed Bundy.


HIM: (Smiling) Our little Mars/Venus moment this morning was funny. Boy were we having a hard time communicating. When I asked you what to do, and you told me to pick up and put away things, all I could think was, How do you know that I'm not doing it? If it's put away, you can't see it out to know that I put it away.

HER: You could write down a list. Honestly, do you really need verbal credit for things you put away?

HIM: No, but I was just frustrated that you wouldn't realize if we picked up anyway.

HER: So you pick things up? Really.

HIM: Why yes. While you were at Church, the kids and I picked up the family room.

HER: Really. Did you not just watch me pick up in there for 25 minutes? The room was a mess.

HIM: Yes, but we did pick up.

HER: What did you pick up?

HIM: We put some toys back where they belong. Atticus picked up the snowflake clings that fell off the window and put them back on.

HIM & HER look at the snowflake clings scattered on the floor.

HIM: Well, he did put them back on. They just don't stick. But you see, we picked up, and here you think that we didn't.

HER: Well, it's kind of hard to think that it was picked up when I spent 25 minutes doing so.

HIM: See? You just need to ask specifics. It doesn't do us any good to pick up because you won't know.

HER: Well, no. You all just need to pick up things to the point where it'd be impossible for me not to notice.

HIM: Unable to speak, for he's banging his head against the wall.

1 comment:

Jen said...

Men are strange creatures. I can totally understand what you are talking about but I am sure Phil would side with Cliff...I am getting a wife.