Tuesday, October 16, 2007

A Tale of Two Kings

My husband feels a strong kinship with "The King," because the two share the same birthday. They are both Kings in their own rights. . .one, "The Rock 'n Roll King." The other, "The Drama King."

Tonight I took Hattie out for a little girls' night on the town, first to an awesome local education store, where I purchased a few new primers for the kids, and then on to Barnes and Noble. Cliff's duties were fairly simple: to man the house, put Paloma to bed, hang with Atticus, put him to bed. As a bonus, he lovingly offered to clean the kitchen (which, in all my wifely wisdom, I realize was probably a ploy at securing some fun tonight but hey, if he thinks he needs a clean kitchen thrown into the bargain, I'm not complaining!).

25 minutes after Hattie and I left home, Cliff phoned to proudly announce that the baby was already in bed! One down, one to go! He and Atticus were going to have a bit of father/son bonding over a motorcycle racing game, and then off to bed for the little man.

Upon leaving B&N, I gave a ring home. Cliff answered, and I could hear Atticus in the background. "Babe, it's almost 9! Time to get that kid in bed!" I reminded.

"Oh," he said.

Then feebly added, "I got motion sick from the motorcylce racing game, so I've been lying on the floor for the past half hour. I'll put him to bed now."

For real?

I came home, and Cliff greeted us at the door. Hunched over. Like a 100-year old man. Panting. Just like they do in Lamaze class, which is totally funny, because he certainly didn't remember one lick of it when I was in the midst of labor!

Drama King? Let's see. . .

I walk into the kitchen, and am greeted by this mess:

I turn around to look into the family room, where I gaze upon this atrocity.

"Sorry about the mess, hon." Cliff pants, leaning against a kitchen chair.

I mean Full Weight-Bearing Lean. As in the last time I have seen anyone lean against a chair like this was when I was in the throes of backlabor, trying to keep myself upright while vomiting into a hospital's wastebasket, just prior to delivering the Drama King's son, who came out with a head circumference in the 150th percentile.

I smile nicely and say nicely (man, how I have matured in just 7 years of marriage!), "Don't worry, honey. . .if you could just take Hattie upstairs for her bedtime routine, I will gladly clean this up in a jiff," (yes, I used the word 'jiff.' No, I'm not making any of this up.)

So 10 minutes later I wrap up in the kitchen, head upstairs and find this sorry sight:

I put Hattie to bed while Cliff crawls downstairs. Literally. Crawls. I saw him, but didn't have my camera out in time. I go downstairs to find him in the family room:



Anonymous said...

Surely your husband must have been tired and ill... severely ill. I can tell, based on his masculine figure, that he is of hearty constitution and that he must have been fighting for his dear life to show any sort of weakness. Just a thought. -Compassionate anonymous reader

Jen said...

Although I had to laugh at poor Cliff's expense, I can also relate. I cannot play video games with my kids or will get extremely nauseated. I am glad you captured it on film!!

Phil has a bit of a dramatic flair to his personality as well. A cold for him could win him an Oscar. I have never met a person other than my husband have all the signs and symptoms of a fever with a temp of 98.8...


This Mama said...

Oh my goodness - you almost had me howling with laughter in the middle of a silent computer lab, surrounded by students. HALARIOUS post Sarah! I tell you, my husband does that same rolling on the ground thing and it drives me bonkers...I cannot wait to show him your post, too funny. ~Mandy

Sawatzky Kids said...

Cliff...Clifford...Come on man...You need to come over to my house and play PS2 for a long time. We need to build up a little known muscle group known as "Playstationus Maximus" It has something to do with Hand eye co-ordination and the like...

ania said...

Does he maybe have vertigo? Because after reading this, I was trying to remember a past post of yours, and then I looked for it - when he got sick after flying in the small plane that his friend owns.

Again, years ago....