There are two recurring problems in my life, both of which have surfaced (again) this week.
My first problem: vermin.
You all remember my chipmunk and opossum problems (if not, browse through last year's posts to experience the insanity). Well, thanks to the good (and certifiably crazy) neighbor who finds him endearing and--get this---feeds the darn thing, the opossum has taken up residence under her deck. Alas, I celebrated too soon and now my problem has emerged with a squirrel issue. Don't flame me for not knowing the species of the squirrel; I certainly have no idea if they are related to the opossum, or the chipmunk, but hey--they're small, they're furry, they've beady eyes, and they create much chaos in my life. To me, that's related!
Well, look at what the *(@#$&*(#& squirrels did to my beautiful garden cornstalks:
Yes indeed, to add insult to injury the little bastards even mocked me with the sad evidence of my lost corn:
Not sure how to address the problem next year, although it may come in the form of my sons keeping guard with pellet guns (KIDDING!!! For all of those who know me in real life, you know that you don't get any more anti-gun than me--ask my NRA-luvin' hubby and he'll cry on your shoulder about me!).
Now, let's drop the political debate and move onto my next recurring problem, since this particular blog, after all, is about me (eyes rolling).
My second issue: DISHWASHERS!!
Our first house: didn't have a dishwasher. Second child was born, and as a new baby present, Jimmy bought one for us. Yes, I have the world's most awesome (and generous) Mom! :) Well, as we found out, 1928 bungalows weren't quite made for dishwashers, so in order to install it we: took out a two cupboards; reworked the plumbing; removed the old counter; raised the old cupboards and put on a new counter. Wow! That's a lot of work, but I loved the dishwasher and was not complaining! We then sold the house less than 8 months later.
Second house: had a dishwasher upon moving in. A big, ugly, scratched, dented black dishwasher in a kitchen of white cabinets, counters and appliances. Ewww. Fortunately for my delicate sense of decor, the ole thing kicked it, but of course, within days of me giving birth to my third (and very overdue) child. So we purchase a new one, and pay Sears an unseemly amount of money to have the beautiful white dishwasher professionally installed.
Installation day arrives, and the highly paid technician declares, as I'm nursing my 3 day old baby, that our old dishwasher is hooked up illegally and all the plumbing is seriously out of code. He estimates that it will be a cool grand, possibly more, for a licensed plumber to fix it. And we'd have to pull a permit. %^#&$($*!!! was our reaction. A week later, my dear father-in-law is in town, we tell him the story and he decides right there and then that he and my brother-in-law and Cliff were going to put it in, illegal plumbing or not. So he did, and it worked beautifully, and I love those men. We then sell that house a short 6 months later.
Our current home: beautiful, newer home. With a nice Kenmore dishwasher. Which kicks it last December. Ugh. We begin an adoption with an astronomical price tag, so the dishwasher gets put off and I have since been washing dishes by hand for the past 9 months. My husband is very proud of me for never having complained (out loud. . I did a whole lotta complaining in my head!). We recently are able to purchase a dishwasher, which is brought to our home last night for installation. Given that our house is newer (1975) compared to our last 1920's bungalows, we figure no problem!
It is NEVER a good sign when the technician goes into the basement to find a water shutoff, takes 20 minutes, leaves to bring in the second technician from the truck, where they spend another 10 minutes in the basement, then a manual is brought into the basement, and then "Sir? Can we show you what we found?" comes up from the stairs. Never expect good to come from this scenario.
Case in point: when our house was built, the dishwasher and water shutoff were installed, and then the heating ductwork was installed afterwards, covering it. Lovely! So now we need to hire a licensed plumber to come to our home, create a new hookup and pipe, and then and only then will they come out to install.
Note to all husbands: at this point, a really good move is to take your wife to the local restaurant with half-priced margaritas. Cliff is a smart boy!