Sunday, July 08, 2007

An Unexpected Gift

While in Haiti, I met some really wonderful people.

One such person was a French-Canadian woman from Quebec. She and her husband were in Haiti visiting a little girl whom they very much want to adopt; they adopted her older biological twin brothers 2 years ago. Canadian laws are quite different than ours, but they are hopeful and I heard she is planning on returning to Haiti this October for another visit.

Anyway, this woman just emailed me some photos of my time in Haiti with my boys. I have very few photos of me with the children, so I was thrilled to get them.

It feels like I was there a lifetime ago. When I left Haiti, I was so tired and overwhelmed and sad that I was certain I would not return until it was time to bring the boys home. Now, *all* I can think about is going back to Haiti as quickly as possible. But since the adoption is so expensive (and it's hurricane season which completely freaks me out), it's going to be awhile before I have the ability to travel.

Another woman I traveled with in May just returned to Haiti last week for her second visit. We were very similar that by the end of our first visit to Haiti, we just wanted to get the heck out of Haiti! She is very fortunate to live in Florida where the flight is fast and easy, and airfare inexpensive. Like me, her exhaustion ended and she found herself just needing to go back. She is adopting a beautiful baby girl who had a rough start to life and has a lot of catching up to do in terms of growth and nutrition. Baby girl was a tired, weak, sweet little thing at the beginning of May. I could hardly believe her most recent photos and the marked difference in her baby girl already: shinier hair, skin, eyes, fuller face. Wonderful!

Just makes me wonder if my boys are taller, or heavier, or learned new things. I mean, I realize that it's yes to all three, but I want to know how much taller, how much heavier, and what new things.

Our good news is that we are in IBESR!!! As of June 15th!!! We have those two file numbers and they are emblazoned on my mind, embedded in my heart. The people whose files are two months ahead of ours are still in IBESR, so our wait is still unknown at this point.

I was so naive and arrogant to think that I could handle the wait. That I could just separate and block out so much of it, like I was able to do while in Haiti. But that ability to block things out doesn't last forever, and it sure hits hard. Just the knowing, that life in Haiti is going on and I'm not there. And that life here goes on and they're not here.

And so they grow. And the clock ticks. And the unknown wait continues.


Aves @ Call of the Phoebe said...

I CAN SO RELATE WITH THE WAITING ANGUISH!!!! This waiting time is the thing I dislike about adoption, everything else is great.......... I have linked you to my blog under Haiti....


Sawatzky Kids said...

Beautiful as always! Thank you for sharing this journey with the rest of us so eloquently!(spell check)
Everything in God's perfect timing.
We will all be over the moon for you when your boys finally come home!
Shelly and gang