Monday, January 15, 2007

Warning: Contents Under Pressure

It's just about impossible to buy any product without it bearing some sort of warning label. While some definitely deserve merit (do not place rear-facing infant safety seat in a seat with an air bag), some are completely absurd: Tide: not a good food source; paint-removing heat gun: do not use gun as a hair dryer; sleeping pills: may cause drowsiness.

Yesterday we discovered a well-deserved warning label for our daughter's lunch thermos that the thermos company neglected to issue:

Warning: If soup is left in Thermos for 3 or more days, insert earplugs, place rubber gloves on hands, remove yourself from all other living beings. Then carefully remove cover.

Laugh all you want, but we're serious here! Last week Wednesday I gave Hatfield hot alphabet vegetable soup in this thermos for her school lunch. She came home from school that day, and in an effort to help me, placed the lunch box, still containing the thermos of leftover soup, in the lunch box cupboard. On Thursday and Friday I then used a different lunch box for Hatfield.

Come Sunday night, I take out the lunchbox and lo and behold, find her Thermos. Ewwww. I tried with all my might to open the darn thing, but the top wouldn't budge. I attributed this to dried out soup around the top of the thermos, and asked my husband to help me open it.

So here we are in the kitchen; me, innocently washing dishes, Cliff standing to my immediate left, being a good husband and opening the thermos, which is about 2 feet away from my left ear. .

Cliff and I are shell shocked for a moment. Through the intense ringing in my left ear, I suddenly hear Atticus. "HOLY COW!!! DO THAT AGAIN, DAD!!!"

Apparently, when a thermos holds leftover vegetable soup over a period of several days, the soup releases gas as it begins to decompose. The gas then builds up in the thermos until the unfortunate person chooses to open it. If this happens to you, please heed our warning: Proceed with caution.

Better still, if you can afford it and/or have bad health insurance, avoid the risk altogether and buy a new one.

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